KISSES.

(Of civility.)

Puteanus educated a young Italian gentlewoman, and wrote to his friend that he would not suffer her to let herself be kissed; “that,” says he, “is dangerous for Italian girls. Our Flemish ones may do it without any hazard or detriment; they do not understand that there are any love-lessons in ogling and kisses; but those of your country know very well the consequences of it, and for this reason I have taught her our language, and all our customs, except that of kissing.” Kempius quotes this passage, in his learned and curious compilation, “de Osculis,” and refers us to a professor of philosophy at Leyden. This professor, treating of temperance, one of the four cardinal virtues, proposes this among other questions: " Is the custom which is allowed to strangers in the Low Countries and elsewhere, to kiss other people’s wives, widows, and maidens, when they pay them a formal visit, conformable to the laws of chastity?” He answers “that this custom is very ancient; but the several wise men of antiquity looked on it as a little unchaste.” He quotes Socrates, who would have people absolutely abstain from it, there being nothing which stirs up the fire of love so much as kisses. He quotes Seneca as saying, “that a maiden was accused of impudence, because she received a kiss.” He says, “that the ancients were persuaded that kissing made a strong attack on chastity,” and proves it by these words of Ovid:

Oscula qui sumpsit, si non et caetera sumpsit,
Hæc quoque quae data sunt perdere dignus erat.

He that took kisses, and took nothing more,
Deserved to lose what he obtained before.

His conclusion is, that ceremonial kisses are not contrary to chastity; and that we must not think that every body is so easily moved, that kisses of civility may not be altogether honest. This determination, and the reason on which it is grounded, are solid and good; but what can be more foolish than the quotation out of Ovid, for the verses of the poet concern only the kisses of lovers? This professor is to be blamed for quoting them on such a subject. He should have laid aside the learning that is in his thesis, and kept to the difference of climates, like Puteanus. Those familiarities which are dangerous in Italy, are very little, or not at all so, in the northern countries. This is certainly the meaning of the Louvain professor; for he had no thoughts of a farewell kiss, or of a kiss upon the return from a long journey. There is no probability that, upon such occasions, he would have excepted his young Italian maid from that custom. There were other occasions enough, in which he might prescribe her a particular rule, and in which she might, according to the knowledge of her nation, experience what Horace says:

Oscula, quæ
Venus Quinta parte sui Nectaris imbuit.
Hor. Lib. I. Ode XIII.

Socrates has expressed himself on this in the liveliest manner. “Critobulus,” said he, “is more rash than if he had thrown himself upon the point of naked swords, or leaped into the fire, for he had the boldness to kiss a fine face.” “Is this so great a rashness?” says Xenophon to him. “Truly, I fancy I could very easily expose myself to the same danger.” “Ah, unfortunate,” says Socrates, “do you know what follows, after kissing a fine face? Do not you lose

your liberty? Do not you become a slave? Do not you engage in excessive expences, to obtain a destructive pleasure? Do not you find yourself unable to do good, and constrained to follow those things which you would despise, if your reason were not corrupted?” “O God!” said Xenophon, “this is to attribute a strange power to a kiss.” “Are you astonished at it?” says Socrates. “Do not you see little spiders, whose bite is so venomous that it causes strange pains, and makes people lose their senses?” “I know it very well,” said Xenophon; “but those creatures spit out their poison when they bite. ” “Do you think,” added Socrates, “that love-kisses are not venomous, because you do not see the poison? Know that a fair woman is an animal more dangerous than scorpions, because they cannot hurt unless they touch us; but beauty wounds us without coming near us. What way soever we perceive it, it shoots out its venom, and perverts our understandings. Perhaps it is for this reason, that the Cupids are represented with bows and arrows, because a fair face wounds us from afar. I advise you then, Xenophon, when you see any beauty, to fly without looking behind you; and as for you, Critobulus, I think it would be proper for you to be absent a whole year: for that will be time little enough to heal your wound.”

Can any morality be more worthy of a great philosopher than this? Our good Casuists would not judge it too severe, nor find any hyperbole in the comparisons of Socrates. The maxims of an ancient Roman had no less rigour. He had a freedman whom he loved very much, and a daughter who began to grow marriageable. He knew that this freed-man had kissed her, and punished him severely, though there was something which might be urged as an excuse in the circumstances of that fault; but he had no regard to that, nor to the friendship he had for the criminal, he considered only the consequences of

the punishment. Penelope would not have thought this morality too severe. We have spoken of a Florentine lady who managed herself after this rule, and of a law which was grounded on the same maxim. This law subsists no longer in France, but it is not abrogated at Naples. Half the donations of the man who is contracted, and dies before the consummation, belongs to the woman, if she gave him a kiss, but otherwise she has nothing. These are maxims unknown to a great many nations, that judge of things quite otherwise, and do not set them at so high a rate. We will quote the author of the Saint Evremoniana. “A kiss, which in Turkey, Italy, and Spain, is the beginning of adultery, at Paris is only a mere civility; and if that Persian, who made so many mysterious voyages to get three kisses of the fair Cyrus, had been in Paris, he would not have valued that pleasure so much as he did. There are no visits now in which there are not kisses, but they are like money, which we value just as we please; and as kisses are a merchandise which costs nothing, and does not wear out, and is always plentiful, nobody is sparing of them, and few are greedy of them.” What I am going to quote out of Montaigne is not of the same sort, for that author considered only kisses of civility; but as what he says is an evidence of the custom of his time, I may join it to the words of Saint Evremoniana. The reader will distinguish where there is occasion. "Scarcity gives a relish to meat. Thus the manner of salutations, which is particular to our nation, takes off, by its frequency, the pleasure of kisses, which Socrates says, is so dangerous and powerful to steal our hearts. It is an unpleasant custom, and injurious to the ladies, to hold out their lips to every one who has three footmen in his retinue, how disagreeable soever he be.

Cujus livida naribus caninis
Dependet glacies rigetque barba:
Centum occurrere malo culilingis.
Mart. Epigr. VII.

And we ourselves do not get much by it; for, as the world is at present, we must kiss fifty ugly ones for three that are handsome; and for a tender stomach, as such of my age have, one bad kiss is too much for a good one.”

In respect to this custom in England, we have the following curious passage in one of the epistles of Erasmus. “If you did but sufficiently know, my Faustus, the pleasures of England, you would haste hither with wings at your feet, or if your gout would not permit you to do that, you would wish yourself a Dedalus. To mention only one pleasure out of multitudes: here are nymphs beautiful as angels, lovely and debonair; you would readily confess that your Muses are not to be compared to them. Besides, we have a custom which can never be sufficiently commended. Wherever you go, you shall be welcomed with kisses from them all; and when you depart, you shall be dismissed with as endearing a farewell: return, the same sweet welcome shall be repeated. Do they take their leave of you, kisses are exchanged at parting. Wherever you meet them, you feast on their rosy lips. In a word, all places you enter are full of kisses, which, my friend, had you once but tasted, how soft, how fragrant they are, you would not, I am positive, like Solon desire to live ten years, but till death, in England.” You see that Erasmus did not like English women less than Englishmen.

To conclude, I must needs say that Puteanus was much in the right, not to breed an Italian girl as they did the Flemish ones. All must act in such an affair, according to the law of custom; neither the law of nations, nor the law of nature include this part of education: the diversity of climates and opinions is the best rule here.—Art. Puteanus.